Delete or Send? The Vulnerability Dilemma.
You know that moment—you’re in the middle of a conversation or hovering over a message you’re about to send. Your chest tightens, your thumb hesitates, and your mind whispers:
“Careful… this is a little too honest.”
That’s it. That’s vulnerability kicking in.
No alarms. No flashing red lights. Just this subtle, nerve-wracking sense that you’re about to let someone see you. Really see you.
And it’s terrifying.
Even if it’s just a sentence.
Even if it’s just silence.
Even if it’s just saying, “I’m not okay.”
Vulnerability is Not Soft—It’s Sharp
We often romanticize vulnerability. We imagine it like some warm, glowing, intimate experience where people cry a little, hug it out, and ride off into the sunset emotionally healed.
Let me be honest: that’s cute… but not the full story.
Vulnerability can be awkward. It can be ugly. It can leave you rethinking that text message for the next five hours like,
“Why did I say all that? Should I unsend? Is it too late to move to another country?”
It’s showing up and hoping the person on the other side doesn’t flinch. Hoping they don’t leave you hanging with a thumbs up emoji when you just exposed your soul.
Yeah, it’s not always soft. Sometimes, it stings. But it’s real.
The Fear Beneath the Fear
We don’t just fear judgment.
We fear indifference.
We fear being misunderstood.
We fear saying “this is me” and being met with… nothing.
That’s what makes vulnerability feel risky. You’re not handing over a script. You’re handing over you—unpolished, unguarded, and fully human.
It’s like giving someone your favorite hoodie and praying they don’t stretch it out and forget to return it. It’s personal.
The Small Ways We Try to Protect Ourselves
We’ve all got our go-to ways of dodging vulnerability. Some of us crack jokes (even during emotional breakdowns). Others deflect with “lol anyways,” after saying something heavy. Some of us ghost, not because we don’t care—but because we care too much and don’t know how to deal with what’s coming up.
Me? I give people disclaimers like:
“This might sound dramatic, but—”
“I don’t usually say this, but—”
“Ignore me if this is weird, but—”
It’s that internal reflex trying to soften the blow of being real. But the truth is, vulnerability doesn’t need to be perfectly packaged. It just needs to be true.
When Vulnerability Goes Wrong
Let’s sit with this one a bit longer—because it’s real.
Sometimes you share something deep and the person gives you advice you didn’t ask for. Or worse, they hit you with,
“Aww, stay strong.”
“That’s crazy, lol.”
“You’re overthinking.”
And suddenly you’re spiraling:
“I should’ve kept that to myself.”
“Now they think I’m weird.”
“Why do I even bother?”
That kind of rejection doesn’t just sting—it sticks. It makes you retreat. Makes you shrink. Makes you second-guess every moment you almost tried again.
But hear me: That one response doesn’t define the worth of your voice. It just means that person wasn’t the safe space you hoped they’d be.
Still sucks, though. Let’s not lie.
But When It Goes Right…
Whew. That moment when you share and someone really gets it? That’s gold.
They don’t just listen—they feel it with you.
They don’t try to fix you—they sit in the mess beside you.
They say, “Same.” Or “That hit me.” Or even just… “I’m here.”
And somehow, that moment rewires something in you. You feel less alone. You feel more human. You feel—dare I say—held.
You Don’t Owe Everyone Access
Let’s clear this up for good: Vulnerability ≠ Overexposure.
You don’t have to open up to everyone just to prove you’re real. You get to choose who gets the behind-the-scenes version of you. Not everyone deserves to know your soft spots. Not everyone can handle them.
Discernment and vulnerability go hand in hand.
So protect your heart—but don’t cage it.
It’s Okay to Start Small
Vulnerability doesn’t have to be this grand, dramatic event. It can be tiny.
Saying, “Actually, that hurt my feelings.”
Letting someone hug you when you’d usually brush it off.
Admitting you don’t have it together.
Saying, “I miss you” first.
Or just telling the truth when someone asks, “How have you been?”
You don’t have to go full therapist-mode to be vulnerable. Sometimes, it’s just choosing honesty when it would be easier to pretend.
The Random Funny Side of Vulnerability
Vulnerability is also texting someone something deep and then immediately adding,
“Lol but ignore me, I’m being emotional.”
Or writing a paragraph… then deleting it. Rewriting it. Deleting it again.
Or hitting “send,” tossing your phone across the room, and whispering, “God, take it from here.”
We’ve all been there. It’s okay to laugh at how chaotic this human stuff gets.
So When That Internal Warning Goes Off…
When your system flashes:
“Vulnerability detected—proceed with caution,”
don’t automatically back away.
Pause. Breathe. Feel it.
Then ask yourself: “Is this worth the risk?”
If the answer feels like yes—even a shaky, whispered yes—then take the step.
Not because it’ll be perfect. But because it might be real. And real is always better than pretending.
So,
Proceed—awkward, scared, overthinking, maybe sweating a little, but proceed anyway.
You just might find something beautiful on the other side.
Results may vary. Side effects include emotional whiplash, sudden closeness, and uncontrollable “Did I really say that?” thoughts. 😅